Bonus Blogversation 2012: What happens when you’re not the person you want to become?

I rounded up the participants of Blogversation 2012 by inviting bloggers who inspire me, who make me think, who give me pleasure with their writing.

We’re about 10 months into a 12-month project where each of these bloggers takes turns asking a question each week, and even after this much time collaborating with these ladies, I’m still sometimes taken aback at how lucky I am.

This week I had one of those moments as I read Lauren McCabe’s blog, Mermaid Chronicles, where she’d shared a powerful, personal post headlined When You’re Not The Person You Want to Become. In it, Lauren wrote:

There comes a moment in life where we are not the people we think we are. When is this moment? It’s hard to see because it happens slowly, gradually, overtime, as we sink into a job, relax into a lifestyle, settle for less for a little while and then suddenly, a long while. This is the tricky thing about time- little by little, it adds up to a lot.

The scary thing is that it’s easy to think you’ll become the person you want to be, or, more dangerous, you are that person. Wanting is the first part of becoming, but it is not it. We are cerebral creatures, our world can sometimes just exist in our heads.

She goes on to describe her own crisis of identity, trouble with one of the things she identifies as being a huge part of who she is. And she suggests that perhaps the answer is to let it go.

I shared this post with a friend, who wrote back, “give up on your dreams? When do we ever hear that? What a radical expression of acceptance.”

It’s true. I love stories about chasing dreams and perseverance and determination, but it’s equally inspiring to read about someone having the flexibility to adapt to life as it is instead of struggling force it into a notion of how it “should” be.

So as a bonus question this week, I urge you to read Lauren’s post and to ask yourself: What happens when you’re not the person you want to become?

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Categories: health and well being, lifestyle

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. There’s another line from Lauren’s original blog post that I liked, too:
    “If you depend on other people for your dreams, they can take them away from you.”

    I, too, wish I had something more profound to add, but for now I will just say, “thank you.” For dreaming, sharing those dreams and the reality that they don’t all come true but that’s not a reason to stop dreaming, making new ones and committing each day to live a life that honors who you are and who you want to become.

    I am going to do hot yoga in Amsterdam this morning. I love the way yoga makes my body feel and my spirit soar. I love community. I love culture. I am grateful to have the chance to mix them all together with sweat on a mat.

  2. Wow! Powerful and thought-provoking question. For a long, long time I wanted to be a dancer, a choreographer, and an athelete. I wanted to be one of the orphans in the musical “Annie.” I wanted to choreograph dances on a cruise ship. (Yep, I watched a LOT of “Love Boat” episodes!) I still have dreams of doing some kind of performance art – maybe be a talk show host? Although I am proud of my arts blog, I feel like I haven’t really figured out what kind of artist I am.

    This makes me think of a book we used to read to the pre-schoolers I taught. It was called Leo the Late Bloomer. It was about a young tiger who didn’t learn to do things as early on as the other little tigers. Eventually, he did. Just in his own time. So I am trying, as hard as it feels, to trust that “right timing” thing.

  3. Re: “I love stories about chasing dreams and perseverance and determination, but it’s equally inspiring to read about someone having the flexibility to adapt to life as it is instead of struggling force it into a notion of how it “should” be.”
    ============================================================
    At the age of 60, I started working in a Library. Two years later, I’m still there, and loving it. I never thought I’d ever work in a Library, of all places. Now, I do read a lot of “stories”; especially about people who must “adapt” to life as it is, not as it “should” be. Frankly, living life to it’s fullest is so much easier that way.
    And to think – I used to hate reading “fiction”. Ha!
    Live your dreams, but live in reality. Or as we used to say in the ’60’s – “Be Here Now.”
    :>)

  4. Wow. I really like this. I like this a lot. I know I’m supposed to say something more profound in a blog comment, something that adds to the conversation, but I’m just really happy I read this and it’s made me think.

    • I agree with Margaret — I’m not sure exactly how to feel about this but I’m happy to read it. It’s nice to let this one swirl, it’s complex. Pondering … maybe some do not have to be anyone in particular as long as they’re becoming.

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